The Trump campaign and early presidency have been the source of a great deal of outrage and frustration for me, but also a source of inspiration. Below are a poster, web comic, and script that Donald J. Trump has drawn out of me.

WARNING: Some of the below is NSFW, and all of it is not necessarily for everyone.

Nation of Immigrants

Days into his presidency, Trump rolled out the Muslim travel ban, sparking countless protests in airports, widespread criticism, and this image.

Make America Hate Again

During the 2008 campaign, facing questions about some controversial statements by his pastor, Barack Obama delivered an eloquent and impassioned meditation on race in America. During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump delivered one lame, belated nod vaguely in the direction of racial progress, and as a result I delivered this web comic.

Vote for Hate

Toward the end of the campaign, baffled by how anyone could support Trump given all the horrible racist and misogynistic things he’d said and done, I wrote this PSA. We didn’t end up shooting it, but the idea was to call out plainly what voting for Trump was supporting. The recent events in Charlottesville have only underscored what his supporters continue to enable.

INT. BILL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

BILL, upper middle class white male, 60’s, watching TV with his 30-something son, BRADLEY, and wife, MADGE, in pearls. He turns to camera.

BILL

I know that Donald Trump is a little different from the average politician, but there’s something about Hillary Clinton I just can’t support.

Madge and Bradley nod in agreement.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUN-LIT PORCH – AFTERNOON

White couple in jogging suits, sitting on a porch swing, holding hands.

HUSBAND

I need a President who’s fighting for me. And for people like me.
Americans.

WIFE nods.

CUT TO:

INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY

Venerable, manicured, white-haired BOSS walks among the cubicles, mug in hand. Employees pause their conversations to watch him pass.

BOSS

We need to make America great again — like it was when I was a boy, growing up in the 1950s. Everybody was happier then.

BLACK EMPLOYEE looks at camera, skeptical, dead-pan.

FEMALE EMPLOYEE looks at camera, skeptical, dead-pan.

JESSE TYLER FERGUSON, an employee, looks at camera, skeptical, dead-pan.

CUT TO:

INT. DINER COUNTER – DAY

DAN, who just got off a shift at the local factory.

DAN

Hillary Clinton says she has a plan to make college affordable for everyone. Riiiight. Probably just a Chinese hoax, like climate change.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUASH COURT LOCKER ROOM – DAY

CHARLES, toweling his forehead in his all-white squash outfit.

CHARLES

“Donald Trump is too risky?” “He’s untested?” I’ll tell you what’s never been tested— a woman president! Is that a risk we can afford to take right now?

CUT TO:

INT. BILL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

BRADLEY

How can she govern on the days when she has blood coming out of her… wherever?

MADGE looks as if she’s about to say, “that’s not actually how it works at her age,” but we

CUT TO:

INT. DINER COUNTER – DAY

DAN

People yapping about all these Voter ID laws, saying they’re just a systematic attempt to keep minorities and poor people from voting… Like I’m supposed to believe a major political party would attempt to stop groups of people from voting??

DAN looks around for agreement. Shot widens to reveal THE HONORABLE REP. JOHN LEWIS, sitting on the next stool, reading. He turns to fix his stony gaze on Dan, who tries to meet it, but then squirms and looks away. Ashamed?

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

CHARLES, in his convertible Porsche, Ray-bans on his forehead, pulls up to the exit gate.

CHARLES

I’m sick of being oppressed, by political correctness. There’s nothing wrong with treating an entire religion differently from everyone else.

Hands ticket to Latino parking lot attendant.

CHARLES

Or Mexicans.

 

That doesn’t make you a bigot.

Ray-bans down. Gate goes up.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUN-LIT PORCH – AFTERNOON

HUSBAND

Donald Trump knows more than the generals. He said so! He got a purple heart – the smart way, as a gift from a stranger, not by getting tortured for years in a Viet Cong prison, like some loser.

WIFE

I like people that weren’t captured, okay?

HUSBAND

And did these geniuses really think those women were going to serve in the same barracks with men and not get raped??

Wife looks at her husband. Too much?

HUSBAND (CONT’D)

How about a little common sense?

INT. BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

Large format photo on the wall behind him of large gathering with Boss in the center of 50-100 white people.

BOSS looks up from signing a check.

BOSS

I keep hearing awful stories about people attacking the police, verbally. It’s ridiculous! I’ve been around seventy-two years and I’ve never had trouble with the police. No one I know has. And I know a lot of people.

CUT TO:

EXT. DINER PARKING LOT – DAY

DAN exhales his e-cigarette.

DAN

Donald Trump is going to make China our bitch. Believe me.

 

He’s going to make all those countries our bitch.

CUT TO:

INT. PORSCHE, DRIVING – DAY

CHARLES

“Waaaah. My baby was born with cancer. I need health insurance to keep her alive. Waah waah waaaaah!” Maybe you should have worked harder in life so you could be rich, instead of a loser.

 

And maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to have a sick baby.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUN-LIT PORCH – AFTERNOON

HUSBAND

This is a movement. We are fighting to take our country back — from the terrorists, and the protestors, and the immigrants… We’re going to make America white again.

WIFE

(correcting him)

Great again.

HUSBAND

Great again.

They nod.

CUT TO:

INT. BILL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

BILL

(Pointing at TV)

“Look at her face. Would anyone vote for that?”

BRADLEY

Nice one, Dad.

BILL

Who da man?

BRADLEY

You da man.

BILL

No, you da man.

BRADLEY

No, you da man.

As Bill and Bradley continue whodamanning back and forth and fist-bumping, the camera finds MADGE, who flashes a tight smile at camera, but it’s harder to believe than before.

CUT TO:

INT. STUDIO

AZIZ ANSARI stands in a blank white space.

AZIZ ANSARI

Vote for Donald Trump.

 

Because in these complex times, what America really needs is a short-tempered, racist, misogynist fraudulent fake billionaire, who even lies about charitable donations.

 

Except doing that would make you an Olympic-level douchebag who is literally going on record as endorsing bigotry and hate.

 

So actually? Don’t fucking do that.

Thumbs up from Aziz Ansari, as an American flag unfurls behind him.

SMASH CUT TO:

END TITLE CARD

Over patriotic music.

TITLE CARD

Don’t be an Olympic-level douchebag who is literally going on record as endorsing bigotry and hate: VOTE FOR HILLARY ON NOVEMBER 8. Register at “URL”

THE END.


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